


Loving You Is Hard, Dakara Happy

by jade_lil



Series: Loving You Is Hard [2]
Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Breaking Up & Making Up, Drama & Romance, M/M, Ohmiya - Freeform, Sakumoto - Freeform, Supposed One-Sided Love, look at these idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2019-02-25
Packaged: 2019-06-23 06:00:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15599874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jade_lil/pseuds/jade_lil
Summary: AU. Of all the things Sho loves about his job, and his life, sadly, falling for Samii-jima’s (sworn) enemy certainly isn't one of them.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pluvie_27](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pluvie_27/gifts), [learashi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/learashi/gifts), [bambinotame](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bambinotame/gifts), [JKC80](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JKC80/gifts), [Maaitaiyou](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maaitaiyou/gifts), [littlebadlei](https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlebadlei/gifts).



> and the promised continuation of the Ohmiya story! I am so sorry for the horrible delay. RL keeps sucking the life out of me, I'm sorry.

The email's subject said it's Urgent and Confidential, and Jun, against his better judgments, had clicked it open without thinking. He would worry about the ramifications of his actions later, letting his fingers (and heart) decide for him as he had waited with baited breath for the email to load.  
   
It wasn’t what he was expecting, but it made Jun scoffed in disbelief just the same.  
   
The sender alone would have easily lured him into opening the damn email without the accompanying worry the subject entailed, after all, but Jun figured it was Samii-kun's way of making sure Jun wasn't going to ignore this one this time around.  
   
He'd been trying to keep his distance for months now, as what he knew was best, but it wasn't easy. He didn't think he was in it so deep until he had to watch Sakurai Sho walk out of the door, and out of his life, without even as much as look back to spare him a glance.  
   
He realized then that they weren't what Jun thought they were, that it had always been just him who felt differently. He didn't want to think that he'd been lured into Sho's bed (or that Sho had allowed himself to be lured onto Jun's) just for the simple reason that Sho was doing it for his employer's sake, though, he couldn't help it.  
   
Still, he was hoping it wasn't all that, that it couldn't be all just him.  
   
How could he, when he knew how it felt to have Sho's lips moving against his own? How intoxicating it was to have Sho writhing beneath him, lips parted open as he worked his hips against the other man? It couldn't be all just him, he thought bitterly, when he could still feel Sho's perfect lips around his cock, wringing him dry and making him lose his damn mind with how good Sho was at it.  
   
Jun wanted to believe that the coldness Sho had shown him during their last day together was because of something else and not because of what Sho wanted him to believe, but it was hard. What was he supposed to think when Sho seemed hardly bothered, even when they saw each other in Las Vegas, during Ohno and Ninomiya’s wedding?  
   
It hurt as much as Jun thought about it so he’d tried not to, for the sake of his pride, and his heart. He’d been so close from begging Sho to allow him just a few minutes to talk during that brief encounter they had before the newlyweds disappeared somewhere else, but Sho had fled once again before he could even dare to ask.  
   
His attention riveted back to the email when it loaded, but was taken away from it again with the sound of his office door opening.  
   
Mizuhara Kiko, Jun's secretary, bowed in silent apology as she held the door open.  
   
As if on cue, Ninomiya walked in, his head bowed low.  
   
Two seconds later, Samii-jima hotels President, Ohno Satoshi, followed.  
   
   
++  
   
The proposal had been sitting there, untouched, since Ohno left it on his table on his way out. He was told not to accompany the president this time around, and Sho didn't need a working brain to know where Ohno was headed to.  
   
The proposal alone had been a dead give-away, and Sho wanted to think this was anything but some elaborate plan to get him and Matsumoto-san together to, well, talk. Probably. Sho's been trying to avoid it altogether, and it wasn't just because he knew he was messed up in the head, for doing the things he did, and for walking out on Matsumoto-san then.  
   
He was messed up, alright, and this time, it wasn't just his head that was suffering.  
   
He was rightfully fucked the moment he allowed Matsumoto-san close, but what's worse was that he himself couldn't handle his emotions well enough to know his own limitation. He had it so bad for Matsumoto-san that he knew he had started to expect more from what they had, knowing it was only good while it last.  
   
He was beginning to be delusional about things that involved Matsumoto-san, reading too much on the other man's gestures when he knew he shouldn't. He even went as far as thinking they were dating, went as far as stupidly informing his boss about it, even when Matsumoto-san himself didn't even confirm it himself.  
   
The sex was more than enough to keep his thoughts at bay, his emotions from spilling over but the thing was, Sho wanted more. He wanted more than those so-called late night booty calls, wanted more than to be Matsumoto-san’s spare piece of ass if he needed one.  
   
He wanted it all, the good and the bad. It didn’t even take him long to realize that his feelings were spiraling out of his control until one morning and he was woken up missing the warmth Matsumoto-san left on his bed the night before.  
   
He stared at the paperwork sitting on his table, the front bearing Stay Gold Hotel’s logo, and wondered, not for once, whether he was strong enough to resist the urge.

He wasn't.

He found himself reaching for it, hoping for the best.  
   
   
++  
   
   
"Well, to whom do I owe this unexpected visit?" Matsumoto grumbled when he and Nino were finally seated. He was well aware of Nino fidgeting to his right at the obviously unwelcoming scowl gracing Matsumoto’s face, and Ohno honestly wanted to feel bad for Nino but reminded himself that this was actually Nino’s idea.  
   
Which, to be honest, Ohno had not liked any of it the first time Nino mentioned it, but as it was, Nino was more than capable of making him agree to do anything, even with Nino's mouth too full to speak.  
   
Ohno knew he had to set up some ground rules about keeping the business side of things out of their bedroom but he was certain Nino would find a loophole around there somewhere to slap everything back into Ohno’s face, anyway.  
   
Still, he guessed it wouldn’t hurt to try.  
   
“To my husband, who else?” he answered, glancing to his right to where Nino remained uncharacteristically quiet, Ohno crossing his legs in defiance the second Matsumoto did the same with his arms. “Because I’d never voluntarily come here just to see your face, you know.”  
   
Matsumoto huffed, but even that looked and sounded forced. “As if I don’t know that,” Matsumoto grunted. “So, what is it?”  
   
“What is _what?_ ”  
   
“Your reason for coming here, of course,” Matsumoto said, gesturing towards them. “Since it is not because you simply wanted to see my face, you said so yourself.”  
   
Ohno opened his mouth to answer but Nino beat him to it. “Matsumoto-san, I know this is quite sudden, but I figured if I bring President Ohno over, then you would at least listen to what I have to say.”  
   
Matsumoto seemed disinterested. “The proposal, I get it.” Matsumoto said.  
   
Ohno straightened from his seat. “Nino said you’re not in favor of it?”  
   
“I _didn’t_ say that.” Nino countered before Matsumoto managed to defend himself.  
   
“But you said he refused to listen to you when you -”  
   
“That’s different,” Nino sniffed, then his expression turned sour when he muttered, “Slow down, chief, _jeez_. You’re going to fuck this up with that big mouth of yours. Thread carefully.”  
   
He scowled but opted not to say anything.  
   
“Guys, come on, I don’t have time for this. If you’re here to talk to me about that proposal, I’m all ears. Let’s not waste all our precious time arguing, yeah?” Matsumoto said. He and Nino whipped around to gape at Matsumoto before they even realized they were doing it.  
   
“You’re not kidding?” Nino asked, sounding and looking incredulous. Ohno blinked, mirroring Nino’s sentiment.  
   
“Not at all,” Matsumoto agreed, “I’ve looked it over this morning when I received it, and I agree that it looks promising. The figures you guys sent me are intriguing, though I have to see the site myself to know whether this project is workable.”  
   
“I can arrange a meeting with the Realty Office,” Nino said. Matsumoto nodded.  
   
“Sure,” Matsumoto said, then paused, rising from his chair and rounding the way to the front, leaning his hips against the edge of his office table. “But before you do that, I need you guys to know that I have no intention of agreeing on this project, no matter how promising it looks.”  
   
“Eh?” He and Nino exclaimed in unison. “But why?”  
   
Matsumoto shrugged. “Because it is obvious that you’re doing this for your own sake, Samii-kun.” Matsumoto said, pointing a disrespectful finger at him. Ohno frowned, imagining reaching for it and breaking the said finger with his bare hands.  
   
“What, you didn’t actually think that I’m not aware the Realty Office has no intention of selling that land to Samii-jima, yes?” Matsumoto added, looking unperturbed. “We both know that that’s the case. You’ve been eyeing that land for years but they won’t sell it to you. It just so happen that Ninomiya-san here found that out, maybe by accident, I’m not so sure, and that’s why you ask him to come up with that proposal, hoping I would agree, am I right?”  
   
“Well, sorry to disappoint, but my answer is no.”  
   
Ohno found himself up on his feet before he realized he’d done it. “Fuck _you,_ that’s not -”  
   
“Satoshi, please!” Nino half-yelled. Ohno found himself shutting up immediately. Then Nino turned to Matsumoto and bowed.  
   
“Matsumoto-san, please, it’s not what you think it is. Please hear me out. Please?”  
   
   
++  
   
Jun honestly didn’t mean to be rude, but frankly, he couldn’t help it. He was not used to people poking around his business (though he couldn’t say the same thing about himself), especially when he was frustrated enough as it was.  
   
He didn’t mean to rile Ohno up but he couldn’t help if he ended up doing it anyway. It honestly pissed Jun off to know that Ohno had readily agreed to this stupid joint project against his better judgments, swallowing his pride and stomping on his distaste sitting on the so-called enemy’s territory, just so Ohno could finally beat him.  
   
“What else is there to hear, Ninomiya-san?” he asked, tasting bile in his tongue. He never thought people could be this cruel, and here he was thinking Ohno and Ninomiya are different.  
   
Obviously, he was wrong.  
   
Ohno was a businessman down to every marrow of his bones, and it was clear that he was going to use every and any opportunity to his advantage. He did it before, too, with Sho. Distracting Jun from himself, to offer help Jun didn’t have to give, and to act like that stupid middle-man between Ohno and Ninomiya, to please Sho.  
   
Quite frankly, Jun did all of that to get Sakurai Sho’s attention.  
   
He did all that for Sho.  
   
And now look where it took him.  
   
To the fucked up land, obviously.  
   
And he swore he wasn’t going there again.  
   
“Please, I swear it’s not what it looks like, okay?” Ninomiya said - _pleaded_ \- and Jun shook his head. “I - I know this is going to sound stupid but you’ve been…acting strange, since after the wedding, and I saw Sakurai-san, too -”  
   
“Quit bringing up that person’s name, this doesn’t concern him!” he grunted, pissed. From his peripheral, he could clearly see Ohno struggling, hand gripping Ninomiya’s forearm but Ninomiya had his own fingers digging into his husband’s skin to prevent him from talking.  
   
“We’re talking business here, Ninomiya-san, and as far as I’m concerned, this meeting has no relevance whatsoever to my previous acquaintanceship with Sakurai-san. Am I right?”  
   
Ohno stood, riled. Ninomiya's fingers digging into his skin obviously didn't help. “Nino just thought you guys might have a better chance at talking if you agree with this project, asshat!”  
   
Jun arched one fine brow at Ohno. “Really? Wouldn’t it be easier for you guys to just set us up to meet over coffee? I think doing so wouldn’t require much effort and money, if you ask me,” he said, his lips twitching. 

“Unless of course if Sakurai-san refused to agree on it. Which is just exactly the case, right?”

  
Ohno bristled. “God, I really don’t know what he saw in you. You’re just an annoying, self- righteous _bast_ -”  
   
“Satoshi, that’s enough!”  
   
Ohno stood, and shot Jun a look that spoke volumes. “Yeah, you’re right. It’s enough. We’re done here.” he said, grabbing Ninomiya’s hand.  
   
“Wait, Oh-chan -”  
   
“We’re leaving, okay? Okay? You heard what he said. It’s obvious he won’t listen, so let’s stop Kazu. It doesn’t matter anymore. I told you this is stupid, but you never listen to me. Come on.”  
   
“You honestly want me to believe you’re doing this for me?” Jun found himself saying just before Ohno and Ninomiya made it to the door, ending it with a mirthless laughter.  
   
Ohno turned to him. “Why would I even do that?” Ohno countered, cheeks puffing out in annoyance. “To tell you the truth, _GoldFace,_ the only reason I agree to that goddamn proposal was because I thought you were worth it. I told myself I'll make you listen, that I _could_ make you listen, make you see the benefits of this for you and Sho-kun. We’ve talked about this before the wedding, you remember? And I remember telling you to do something about it, that is if you care enough for Sho-kun. Sho-kun won’t ever tell me why he looks so miserable all the time but I’m certain it is because of your stupid face. Now, I’m trying to understand where you’re coming from as well, but accusing me of manipulating my husband just so you would agree on this project is absurd, you jerk!”  
   
Jun’s lip thinned. “What the hell are you even saying?”  
   
/tbc  
   
 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHALLENGE ACCEPTED1

“I’m saying you should stop acting like an idiot for once and hear us out?” Ohno hissed, sounding sorely affronted. “Seriously, I don’t know you’re this much of a jerk. Accusing us of something so low-”  
  
“Satoshi, please, that’s enough. You promised me.” Ninomiya said, tugging at Ohno’s hand. Ohno seemed to have recovered himself enough to bite his tongue in lieu of continuing.  
  
“Well, it’s not like you’ve given me enough choices,” Jun said, “You just barged in here saying you want to talk business when you could have told me straight to my face that you’re here for something else.”  
  
“You obviously didn’t read my email then.” Ohno’s voice softened. He turned to face Jun, hand still gripping Ninomiya’s own tightly against his own.  
  
“I was actually kind of - busy.” Jun muttered. Could it be that the email Ohno sent had something else in it that Jun wasn’t able to read? Was that important?  
  
“Busy, my ass.”  
  
“Guys, please.”  
  
Jun eyed them both, seeing the sincerity in their eyes. He told himself he’d had enough of this, didn’t he? Didn’t he? “You’d have to forgive me, I wasn’t…I’m not normally this - this harsh. I mean -”  
  
“Matsumoto-san, please, don’t apologize. It’s okay,” Ninomiya said, bowing his head.  Ohno mirrored his gesture as if he didn’t even realize he was doing it. “We’re the one at fault here. We shouldn’t have assumed you would want our help, or that you would even want one. I just - you’ve  been such a great friend to me, to Satoshi, too, and I honestly hate it seeing you so miserable all the time. It’s my fault for assuming you’re sad because of Sakurai-san, I know, so please, forgive me. Forgive us. This won’t happen again, I promise.” Ninomiya added, keeping his head bent low in apology.  
  
Jun didn’t need to hear anymore. “Please, Ninomiya-san, I -” he paused to breathe, and shook his head.  
  
Ohno raised his head first and gave Jun a look that made Jun wished he hadn’t assumed the worst of them, but he already did, so, what was the point in regretting?  
  
He obviously had that weird penchant for thinking the worst of people, apparently.  
  
“Please excuse us,” Ohno said, tugging at Ninomiya’s hand. “Come on, Kazu. We’re leaving.”  
  
Ninomiya said nothing, and Jun no longer expected him to. He simply watched them disappear behind the door, blinked, and dropped his head in between his hands and groaned.   
  
  
++  
  
  
“You could have handled it better,” Nino muttered from where he was sitting in the passenger’s seat, so far away from Ohno and refusing to let Ohno touch him. Ohno felt the phantom fear from resurfacing, watching Nino from his seat helplessly.  
  
“But instead, you had to open that big mouth of yours and ruined everything.” Nino said, straightforward as ever, and Ohno felt the sting of those words acutely.  
  
He saw Okada frowning at the rear-view mirror, obviously worried, and Ohno decidedly ignored him.  
  
“I could have, yes,” he countered, pouting; it was a childish gesture, alright, but Nino told him once he liked when he did it, so, it wouldn’t hurt to try. Besides, this was him being sorry for acting like a total jackass in front of Matsumoto - an entirely uncalled for development from his part, but totally unsurprising, if he was going to be honest about it.  
  
“But he asked for it.” he added, and immediately regretting it when Nino whipped his head around to look at him. The venom in those eyes were lethal enough to bring Ohno to his knees, and he swore it would have been totally hot if they were on a bed doing kinky things and not in a car arguing.  
  
“No, he didn’t, and would you please get your mind off the gutter?! I’m being totally serious here.” Nino snapped, as if he knew what Ohno was thinking, his voice pitching a few octaves higher that the sound was enough to startle Okada, and almost making him rear-end another car in surprise.  
  
Ohno cursed, his anger and frustration forgotten as he quickly and automatically undid his seatbelt, before throwing himself over Nino in his haste to protect him, the car still swerving as he did so.  
  
“God damn, fuck!” he half-yelled, arms protectively around Nino at the same time Okada managed to pull the car over, turning around to check on them, apologies spilling out of his mouth at the same time. Ohno waved a hand at him and opted on checking Nino over.  
  
“Nino, are you okay? Shit, you’re not hurt, are you?”  
  
Nino chuckled and slapped Ohno’s wandering hands away, albeit halfheartedly. “I think I broke a bone, or five,” Nino muttered, to Ohno’s shock, but was quickly followed it with a grin, adding, “but that’s not because of the  _almost_  accident but because of you trying to hug the crap out of me. Will you ease up a bit? You’re going to give yourself a conniption if you don’t, _Jesus fucking Christ_.”  
  
Ohno felt a migraine coming. He knew there was a reason it never worked out with anyone, because it was obvious that he was reserving his everything for Nino, every single emotion focused on loving Nino and only him. He could feel the rush of blood pounding hard through his ears, and the need to claim Nino was so strong he could barely resist it.  
  
“Fuck,” he cursed inwardly, dropping on the seat next to Nino and only vaguely remembering nodding at Okada to carry on. “Fuck, you scared the shit out of me.” he said, breathless with fear, while Nino pretty much shook with laughter next to him.  
  
“That’s what you get for acting like a complete jerk,” Nino told him, but he was at least holding Ohno’s hand in his and tugging Ohno closer. “I told you Karma’s a bitch and it opt to bite you in the ass quickly, before you even realized it’s there. So, be a good boy and call Matsumoto-san later and   invite him out for drinks, to apologize, okay?” Nino said, allowing Ohno to cuddle him despite his earlier refusal.  
  
Ohno nuzzled Nino’s cheek. “Do I really have to?” he said, silently hoping Nino could be persuaded, though, he highly doubted it. Nino could be pretty resistant if he felt like he was being pushed roughly into a corner, and the last thing Ohno wanted was to make Nino feel that way, knowing he would eventually lose him.  
  
Ohno shuddered at the remembered pain of not having Nino for months, and promised himself he was going to do it better, be a better man, for Nino.  
  
And if it meant he had to lower his head and apologize, he would do it. Even if the person he had to lower his head to was the same person he would rather kicked to a curb if given the chance to.  
  
“Yes,” Nino said, giving Ohno just enough space to squeeze himself against, pushing his face against Nino’s neck and humming. Nino felt so good to hold on to like this, despite the protruding bones and uncomfortable angles. “You were so harsh with him earlier, I would have ended up kicking you out of his office myself if you didn’t drag me out first.”  
  
Ohno huffed. He really couldn’t help it if his initial reaction to seeing Matsumoto’s face was to punch him, but okay, maybe he was being childish. Nino had to constantly remind him that without Matsumoto’s help, they wouldn’t have ended up together as quickly as they did, that the reason Nino still had a job he’d went back to after marrying Ohno in Las Vegas was because Matsumoto allowed it.  
  
Ohno, in turn, would then tell Nino it would have been a lot easier if he just let Ohno did it his way, that Nino didn’t even need to work for Matsumoto if he agreed to go back to Samii-jima. That he could have single-handedly taken care of all of Nino’s flight arrangements even without Matsumoto’s consent.  
  
Nino simply told him he was so full of it.  
  
Ohno refused to make any further comments, because doing so would only make Nino angry.  
  
“Your words wound me, Nino,” he complained, only half-meaning it. “I mean, seriously. I know he’s your boss and all that, but don’t forget, I’m your husband. Don’t I get something like, a husband-only privilege?”  
  
“And what could that be?”  
  
“Well, you mean aside from the great sex?” he asked, giggling quietly, knowing Nino was mentally rolling his eyes at him.  
  
“Respect, for one,” he said, pouting. “And support. Lots and lots of it. Like, if I want to kick Matsumoto’s face repeatedly, shouldn’t you be cheering me on or something?” he paused, feigning hurt. “Instead, you want me to apologize to him and pay for his drinks when I didn’t even manage to stick my fingers up his nostrils. Totally not cool.”  
  
Nino snorted, the sound was completely appealing that Ohno found himself folding himself around Nino, like a sort-of comfortable blanket.  
  
“You are hilarious, I hope you know that.” Nino told him, fingers light around Ohno’s wrist, his voice even lighter. He even sounded like he was laughing, and Ohno knew he would give everything, do anything in his power just to make sure he got to hear it everyday hereafter.  
  
“Well, I made you smile, so I’m going to treat that as my win.”  
  
“Conceited.”  
  
“And in love with you, of course,” Ohno whispered, to Nino’s ear, and Nino shuddered as if he was cold. That was always the reaction Ohno got when he said those words, and Ohno treated it as his win, too.  
  
“You’re still not forgiven until this is resolved, just so you know,” Nino countered, and Ohno groaned in answer. “What, you think cuddling the fuck out of me will get you off the hook? Too bad, Ohno Satoshi. It seems you don’t know me at all.”  
  
“I was hoping it would,” Ohno said, despairingly.  
  
“Sorry to disappoint, my darling,” Nino answered. “But this is the only compensation I could think of, a return favor of some sort for the happiness I’m enjoying right now. Think about it.”  
  
He did -  _he still do_  - but somehow, it was difficult to do the same, to return the favor when the people involved were as bullheaded as those two. Ohno was certain theirs wasn’t just a simple case of misunderstanding, because, how could it be that? Sho-kun and Matsumoto were two of the smartest people he knew, so it was honestly difficult to think that they could have mistaken one’s gesture to mean something else rather than what it truly meant.  
  
_Right?_  
  
“Oh, crap,” Ohno muttered, unburying his face from Nino’s neck at the sudden realization.  
  
“What?” Nino turned to him, confused.  
  
Ohno blinked, opened his mouth but no words came out. How could he even say it? Like,   _Ah, well, I think what the problem is. They’re in love with each other but no one said they are and now they’re both fucked up because of their doubts. Sounds familiar, eh?_  
  
“I - think I know what to do.” he said instead.  
  
Nino narrowed his eyes at him, then smiled. “Now you’re talking,” Nino said, patting his knees. “I knew there’s a brain in there somewhere. You just needed a little push.”  
  
“So, does that involve straps and ropes? Chains? Maybe something old school, like, whips and clamps? I could totally sign myself up on that questionable website I saw you browsing through the other night to purchase some, if you want me to.”  
  
Ohno blinked. Straps and what? “What?”  
  
“What?” Nino parroted, unperturbed.  
  
Nino gave him this look that made him look so feisty. Ohno felt suddenly so out of his depth, completely forgetting the dilemma of having to deal with Sho-kun and Matsumoto’s stubborn asses.  
  
“You just said straps and ropes, right? And something else.” He was sure of it.  
  
Nino blinked. “Did I?”  
  
“Yes, you did,” Ohno said, pulled back, hand clamping over his mouth in feigned shock. “Oh my god, you did.”  
  
“Obviously, those are not for us, you idiot.” Nino pointed out, then shoved him, eyes shining with quiet mischief.  
  
“Nino, stop lying.”  
  
“I’m not lying, stupid,” Nino returned, his cheeks pink. “You just said you knew what to do and I -”  
  
“ - immediately assumed the answer is….  _BDSM_?”  
  
“They seem like the type to try and hang the other to the ceiling, if you ask me.” Okada said helpfully from the driver’s seat, startling them both.  
  
“Oh my god, Okada-san.”  
  
“Oh my god, Okada, what are you even saying.”  
  
“D-Did I… say something wrong?”  
  
Nino slapped his leg. “This is all your fault. Now, I’m never getting the images of Matsumoto-san tying your secretary to the ceiling while he whipped his ass, out of my head. Oh my god.”  
  
“Jesus Christ, Nino.”  
  
“You were supposed to set them up! Not make one strap the other to a wall or something!”  
  
Ohno winced. That escalated into something pretty wicked so quickly. “That was the plan, alright? I honestly didn’t expect your boss to act all high and mighty! It’s not my fault he -  _huh_?” he startled, feeling the vibration coming from the vicinity of his crotch.  
  
“That better be your phone, and not some weird stuff you purchased from equally weird websites, or I swear to God -” Nino said, but Ohno cut him off with a kiss aimed straight to his lips.  
  
“My phone,” he said, whipping the said thing out of his pocket and waving it in front of Nino’s face. “Happy now?”  
  
“ _Hmph._ ”  
  
Ohno checked the phone, realized it was a message.  
  
Surprisingly, it was from Matsumoto.  
  
When he read the contents, he gaped, blinking at the message and reading it two more times to make sure he didn’t misread it.  
  
“What? What is it?”  
  
“It’s from GoldFace.” he said.  
  
Nino frowned. “And? What does he want now?”  
  
Ohno tilted the phone towards Nino’s direction, and let Nino read it. Nino gasped, shocked.  
  
Ohno honestly mirrored his reaction, if he was not already reeling from it.  
  
The message said.  
  
_Fine, Samii-kun, I thought about your offer and I guess you’re right. It was good deal. But I want the details hashed out and I want your assistant to work on this project with me, like you wanted. Send him over tomorrow so we could discuss further._  
  
_Oh, dear_ …he thought, relief and worries mingling. Sho-kun was definitely going to kill him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I initially planned on finishing this in five. Now I'm not sure anymore :D Hope you enjoy XD

The message took him minutes to compose, but now that it’s there, Jun couldn’t even bring himself to send it.   
  
Somehow, he knew this wasn’t supposed to go like this. He’d hate to admit that it was that stupidly hoping part of him that had made to agree but he guessed it couldn’t be helped. Ohno and Ninomiya seemed hopeful themselves, (despite Ohno acting like a complete asshole) and against Jun’s better judgments, he allowed himself to be carried away.  
  
He honestly wanted to regret doing that right now.  
  
The email from Ohno was sweet as it was stupid, and Jun wondered if this was what love (and marriage) could do to a person, because Jun honestly couldn’t imagine Ohno writing such details without ending up puking. Then again, he’d never, not even when he was drunk out of his mind, would he ever expected Ohno to be led around by the nose, enough to be persuaded to tell Jun to get his act together, because his assistant obviously couldn’t be bothered to do the same.  
  
Well, not using the same words but Jun got the message clear just the same.  
  
As if Jun needed reminding, he mused to himself, because, who could ever forget the Ohno and Ninomiya’s love affair and the almost tragedy of it all? Ohno was so full of it, Jun wanted to tell him, because it was clear to anyone with eyes back then that Ohno had barely gotten it together himself, if not for him and Sho helping him.   
  
Now look at him acting all high and mighty just because Ninomiya stupidly decided to get back together with him, and even married him, the jerk.  
  
Jun sighed and was once again reminded of the dilemma he was presently facing, just because he’d allowed his heart to decide for him once more. He had a feeling this wasn’t going to go well, and it was enough to make him pick up the phone and dial Ohno’s number, tell Ohno he changed his mind and to suck it all up, but he held himself.  
  
Still, the disappointment was gnawing at him and it wasn’t easy to deal with it knowing that he didn’t deserve any of this. Jun had done his part, right? He wasn’t the type to allow anyone close, the way he did with Sho, but, look where it had taken him.  
  
Was it love, he wondered, that made him do what he did? Jun thought it was, because, frankly, he couldn’t find any reason besides it, to explain the way he had stupidly allowed Sho to use him. He was not the kind of person who would willingly allow other people to do that to him, but with Sho, he even consented it.   
  
What the fuck was wrong with him, really.  
  
He picked his phone up and glanced at the message written there, ignored that rational-thinking part of him with a roughly uttered curse and tapped the Send icon before he ended up talking himself out of doing so.  
  
The standard ping sound followed shortly after, noting the message was sent, and Jun promptly tossed the mobile phone away like it had done him injustice, before leaning back into his chair and groaning.  
  
++  
  
  
To his credit, Ohno did look genuinely apologetic.  
  
“You could have simply asked me to go with you.” Sho said, mentally wincing after the fact. Well, it was obvious that Ohno was able to seal the deal with Stay Gold, with Matsumoto-san, seeing that Ohno couldn’t sit still and he looked awfully guilty.  
  
Ohno did wince at that and averted his gaze. Sho wanted to feel bad for him if not for the fact that he knew there was something else Ohno was feeling guilty for, and god forbid it would be because Ohno did something terminally stupid to warrant the way he was fidgeting on his seat like that.  
  
Even though he already kind of know what it was.  
  
“Is there something wrong, Sir?” Sho inquired, honestly not liking the uncomfortable silence. Sho leaned down and tapped the table twice, just hard enough to take Ohno’s attention back to the present.  
  
“Cut it out, Satoshi-kun!” he snapped when Ohno barely twitched.  
  
“Ah, Sho-kun,” Ohno shrieked, surprised. “What is it?”  
  
Sho mentally rolled his eyes in answer. “I should ask you the same thing,” he muttered, straightening up and waving the folder he brought to Ohno’s office with him. “Although, I don’t think you’re ready to talk to me, yet. Shall I come back in like, an hour?”  
  
“Um.”  
  
“Or I can just call Matsumoto-san to confirm my suspicions.” he added.  
  
Ohno stilled on his chair, eyes wide. “You’ll do that?”  
  
“Sure.” he lied.  
  
Ohno blinked at him as if Ohno didn’t understand what he was saying. “But but but I thought you and him - wait, are you guys talking to each other again? Why wasn’t I informed? I mean, if you do, then I shouldn’t have -” Ohno said, then paused when he realized his mistake.   
  
“So, I was right,” Sho cut in, unsure whether to feel grateful or annoyed. “You did this on purpose.” he says, and it is not a question.  
  
Ohno frowned, and it was obvious that he was trying to deflect Sho by acting innocent.   
  
“Did what, exactly?” Ohno asked, when he seemed like he recovered his brain (and his tongue), enough to deny what he’s done. Sho didn’t even need Ohno confirming it, for him to know this. It was all over Ohno’s face, after all.  
  
“You know what,” he muttered, exasperated at best because, didn’t Ohno know him at all? “The joint project proposal. You and Ninomiya-san dropping by Matsumoto-san’s office to discuss this matter, without me, which is odd. The pitiful looks you and Ninomiya-san shared whenever he drops by to visit.” Sho breathed.   
  
Then added. “And the email.”  
  
Ohno blinked at him. “What email?”  
  
Sho rolled his eyes, didn’t even bother hiding it. “The email you sent to Matsumoto-san,” he said, watching Ohno’s mouth part in a gasp. He breathed through his nose, keeping his gaze locked on Ohno.“You CC-ed me by mistake, or at least that’s what I want to believe just happened. Judging by the contents of it, you’re not supposed to let me read it.”  
  
“Oh, crap.”  
  
Sho reached up and massaged his throbbing temple. It was one thing to know your boss and his partner were worried in your behalf more than you would have expected them to, but going as far as risking a hugely potential profit loss for your love life’s sake (or lack thereof) was another.  
  
“I - This is stupid.” he muttered, torn between wanting to be grateful and annoyed at the same time. He seriously didn’t need anyone’s help regarding this matter - he was fucked enough as it was and Ohno and Ninomiya-san rubbing the fact right into his face obviously wasn’t going to make it all better - and the last thing he needed was to feel like he was being forced into a corner when it already felt like he’d been there, shoved face-first into it in months.  
  
Ohno looked thoughtful when he answered. “How so?”  
  
 _Seriously?_ “The risk is too high, Sir,” he explain around a grimace. Ohno was obviously expecting him to explain his side, prove him and Ninomiya wrong, and Sho had all the intention of doing so.   
  
“I mean, something like this hadn’t been thought off before, not to mention the fact that it could be rather discomfiting for two competing hotel chains to build one that would bear both their names, without expecting numerous fall-outs.”   
  
“You think it’s not possible?” Ohno countered. He looked and sounded thoughtful, but it wasn’t the kind of look Sho was expecting.   
  
Sho bravely shook his head, knowing he looked as grim as he felt. “I’m not saying it isn’t, but just that after I went through the proposal again, I realized that the risk is too high for you to gamble on it without properly considering the consequences. Besides, it’s obvious you haven’t thought this through, because if you did, you would have noticed that the amount of money you are willing to invest on this project is scarily huge, but the profit - since you’ll be sharing it with Stay Gold - is disappointingly little.”  
  
“And honestly,” he added, biting his lips and pausing for a few seconds enough to breathe air back into his lungs, “reading that email’s content myself, I’d say I would have to disagree. Sir.” he said, ending that with a slight bow before he turned around and marched his way out.  
  
  
++  
  
Ohno didn’t want to admit it but it sure seemed like they’ve messed things up further rather than make it all better.  
  
 _“So, you’re saying we just fucked things up even more, yeah? Great. Just great, Oh-chan_.” Nino muttered from the other end, obviously voicing out Ohno’s thoughts for him. He chuckled, unable to stop himself, enjoying the fact despite himself.   
  
“I refused to be blamed for this, Kazunari,” he returned, without heat. “because we both know who wanted that brilliant plan brought to life, and that’s obviously not me.”  
  
“ _Pay back, Jesus Christ!_ ” Nino muttered, and Ohno was certain it was the frustration talking. “ _I only want to give back what I was given, for fuck’s sake. And it’s like hitting two birds in one stone, too. You get to build your hotel in the location you’ve been dreaming of, and Matsumoto-san and Sakurai-san hashing things out the way they’re supposed to. Easy enough, right?_ ”  
  
“I want to say yes, Nino, I really do, but you’ll know I’ll only be lying to you,” he mused, torn between wanting to give Nino the world and knowing exactly that he couldn’t, no matter how powerful he thought he was. “so, I’d rather not. Because after much thought, I know I would have eventually arrived to the same conclusion as Sho-kun anyway, even without Sho-kun pointing it out.” he said, knowing this to be true. Well, that, and probably a few pages long of explanation he would end up writing for Nino, just in case.  
  
“ _Now, that’s just bullshit,_ ” Nino countered, frank as ever, and Ohno whistled mentally in response. “ _Just because your secretary tells you it’s risky doesn’t necessarily mean it is. I personally studied this proposal, Oh-chan, come on, give me some damn credit for that, at least.”_  
  
“I’ll give you more than that, I swear, but Sho-kun is right. It’s too risky. Taking our supposedly friendly competition into consideration, a joint hotel project seemed a little too good to be true. And there’s the management stuff to worry about, too, you understand? I mean, can you even imagine Matsumoto and I working on the same project together? Without one ending up murdering the other? Because I can’t. Honestly.”  
  
Nino heaved a sigh from the other end and the sound of it was enough to make Ohno’s heart hurt, but just a little. He knew Nino would see sense, eventually.   
  
“ _Oh well, I guess Matsumoto-san was right,_ ” Nino muttered, before Ohno was able to open his mouth and say something to comfort Nino.   
  
_“We should have just set them up to meet over coffee. Minimum effort and less drama. All that hard work for nothing. I feel so fucking stupid._ ”  
  
“Oh, Kazu.”  
  
  
++  
  
  
There were honestly better way to handle this matter, of course, _of course_ , and letting someone else do that in his stead wasn’t his style. He knew he’d have to deal with it eventually, soon, even though he would rather really not.  
  
To make matters worse, Ohno and Ninomiya have decided to join in the fun as if Sho would ever allow them to. He wouldn’t, despite the fact that Matsumoto-san obviously thought the opposite by actually agreeing to the stupid proposal just to force Sho to come.   
  
He would have done so willingly, anyway. He was just trying to buy himself some time, stocking up on courage he knew needed when he faced Matsumoto-san again. It’s not going to be easy, admitting his mistake and apologizing for running off when he could have manned up and told Matsumoto-san the real score, but he would do it.   
  
And he might be laughed at by doing so, dreading that moment to be honest, but Sho owed it to Matsumoto-san to be honest. Because Sho knew that at one point during their short association, Matsumoto-san was honest to him, too.  
  
++  
  
There were two consecutive mails waiting for Jun when he came back to his office after a short trip to the john.   
  
One was from Ohno. It simply read, _Need more time. Will call you when I have a positive answer. I apologize for this, truly, but I guess that was stupid of us to think we could persuade him. I really am sorry, Matsumoto-san.._ and Jun knew exactly what Ohno meant.  
  
He’d expected this, didn’t he?  
  
Jun frowned, promptly ignoring the painful way his heart was beating inside his chest as he tapped open the other mail.  
  
It was from Sho.  
  
 _I apologize for the suddenness, but, would be alright with you to meet me? I won’t take much of your time since I know you’re busy. Just. A few minutes would suffice. If it’s okay._  
  
Jun screwed his eyes shut and felt the proverbial need to take control resurface, but he swallowed it down, hard, knowing he would be doing himself a favor by tackling this now rather than later, get this over and done with before this spiraled into something else he was certain he wouldn’t be able to handle properly later on.  
  
He tapped the Reply icon and typed, _I’m free after seven tonight. Come meet me at the hotel. Same room we used to occupy. Just get the keycard from the reception and I’ll be there._  
  
He tapped Send and breathed.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Belated Bisday, Matsumoto Jun-san <3

Nino looked vaguely confused, if not surprised, when he opened his eyes and found Ohno on the bed next to him, head propped up on his hand and staring at him.  
  
He was trying to catch up on sleep - he spent the rest of his day-off polishing that stupid proposal, after all, apart from meeting Matsumoto-san to discuss it with him personally - and he was certain he hadn’t even managed to sleep that long when he felt Ohno’s presence despite being unconscious.  
  
“Oh-chan?” he muttered, blinking the sleepiness away. Ohno hummed on cue, and Nino felt fingers tracing his jaw, his eyebrows, the skin under his eyes, warm and familiar, as he leaned further into the touch.  
  
“Good morning, beautiful,” Ohno hummed, and followed his greeting with a soft kiss aimed against the side of Nino’s mouth. “Sorry if I wake you. I didn’t mean to, I swear.”  
  
Nino laughed and scooted closer to the inviting heat, only vaguely noticing that Ohno was still on his work clothes when his fingers found Ohno’s tie. Nino tugged on it until Ohno had no choice but to move with him, burying his nose against the skin on Ohno’s throat and breathing in deeply, aware that Ohno had done the same as he nuzzled the start of Nino’s hair.  
  
“No use apologizing now,” he chastised, half-hearted at best because he honestly loved waking up to the sight of Ohno’s smiling face next to him on the bed, of seeing it first and foremost when he opened his eyes. “If I knew I would be marrying a creep, I swear I wouldn’t have gone through with it.” he said, without heat, but the way he had his fingers twisted at the front of Ohno’s shirt to tug Ohno closer completely contradicted this.  
  
Ohno chuckled before Nino felt fingers on his chin, tipping his face up. “I’m sorry I can’t really help it. I love watching you sleep.”  
  
“Don’t think you’re off the hook just because you’re being sweet.” he snorted, vaguely remembering how annoyed he was earlier, when they talked on the phone and Ohno told him the project was off.  
  
Well, he didn’t say it so bluntly like that but, oh well, he didn’t need to. Nino was not stupid not to understand what his husband meant even without him saying it out loud.  
  
“I’m always sweet,” Ohno muttered, kissing him. Nino let him. “and it’s not like I’m doing this on purpose.”  
  
Nino chuckled and jabbed Ohno’s chest with his fingers in retaliation. “Sure you do,” he said, but not without so much fondness. “It’s not the first time you’ve -”  
  
“Shutting Nino up in 3, 2, 1.”  
  
Ohno cupped his cheek, pulled him in and swallowed the words he was about to say next. And just like always, he succumbed to it wholeheartedly, letting himself be kissed thoroughly as he melted in Ohno’s arms, fingers clinging tightly to the front of Ohno’s suit.  
  
Ohno pulled away from his lips, as they’re both in need of air, but still stayed close that Nino could very well feel each and every breath leaving Ohno’s mouth. He smiled through the need thrumming under his skin, scooted closer and closer still until he’d practically melded his body unto Ohno’s own, leaning up to nuzzle Ohno’s chin.  
  
“You’re upset, I know,” Ohno mumbled, fingers threading through his hair. Nino hummed, acknowledging the statement with just a simple brush of his lips against the side of Ohno’s mouth. “I swear that’s understandable.”  
  
Nino sighed. He honestly didn’t want to think about it anymore, but he guessed Ohno knew him too well to let it go, either. He guessed trying to act like he wasn’t even upset about the whole thing was pointless.  
  
“I’m actually trying to forget this all happened, okay?” he said, “Stop reminding me.”  
  
Ohno shifted and planted a sound kiss to his cheek. “Well, if it’s any consolation, I’ll say your effort at least managed to give a favorable result.”  
  
Nino frowned. “What do you mean?”  
  
“It’s only six pm, you know?” Ohno pointed out, as if that answered everything. Nino gave Ohno a shove, annoyed.  
  
“What’s the time got to with what we’re discussing right now, I wonder,” he said, pouting royally. “Care to enlighten me, Ohno-san?”  
  
Ohno’s grin widened marginally. “Well, it’s early still but I’m already out of the office,” Ohno said, obviously still speaking in riddles. Nino felt like hitting him. “Why do you think that is?”  
  
Nino snorted. Seriously? He glanced at the clock hanging on the wall just to be sure, and gave himself a few seconds to let that sink in.  
  
Certainly, Ohno was early. Usually, he’s home by eight, normally an hour before Nino had to leave for his shift. Ohno would walk him to work and would wait for him in the morning to get home so they could have breakfast together.  
  
“Well, obviously, you clocked out early, probably because you wanted to be with me as soon as possible? I don’t know, maybe because you own the company and sometimes, you just need to point out the obvious? That you can do whatever the hell you want and -”  
  
“Not bad, those are actually correct presumptions, too, to be honest, but no,” Ohno cut him off again - he’s getting better at that to preempt Nino and it’s getting increasingly annoying, too - “because I had to go and follow Sho-kun when he left.”  
  
“Huh?” Nino mumbled, confused. “Your secretary left the office early? Why? Something wrong with him? Is he sick?”  
  
“He did,” Ohno said, leaning down and trapping Nino on the bed with a grin. “But nope, I’m certain he isn’t. Sick, that is.” Ohno said.  
  
Then, with a look that left Nino panting, he said,  “He left the office early to meet with GoldFace.” and dipped his head to kiss Nino hard.  
  
  
++  
  
Sho certainly wouldn’t be here if he had another choice, but as it was, he was obviously running out of options. People close to him were already taking it up on themselves to help Sho pull his shit together, embarrassing as it was, and he knew it had to stop.  
  
He looked down at the keycard resting in his hand and sighed, contemplating between two things and already knowing there would be consequences to be faced no matter which one he choose. He stopped in front of the familiarly numbered door and winced, shaking his head and willing those unbidden memories away despite the difficulty.  
  
It was hard, but he toughed it up.  
  
He raised his fist and opted on knocking first, clutching the keycard with his other hand. The message from Matsumoto-san clearly said to let himself in once he was there, but for some reason, Sho honestly couldn’t bring himself to do what he was told.  
  
It honestly felt like ages when the door opened, Matsumoto-san unlocking it with a slight shake of his head.  
  
“Is the keycard not working, Sho-san?” Matsumoto-san asked, eyes darting from Sho’s face to the keycard resting in his hand. Sho shook his head in answer, then caught himself midway, worried that Matsumoto-san would get the wrong idea.  
  
“I…thought it would be better to knock first.” he said, not quite meeting Matsumoto-san’s eyes.  
  
Matsumoto-san was quiet for a moment before Sho saw him stood aside and gestured Sho inside.  
  
Sho bowed and quietly stepped forward, stomach clenching painfully at the feel of Matsumoto-san’s fingers drifting lightly against the back of Sho’s hand briefly, but it was quickly gone before Sho was able to comprehend what just happened, watching Matsumoto-san’s back as he locked the door behind them.  
  
  
++  
  
“Do you want anything to drink?” Jun inquired, setting his suit jacket down on the back of the stool he was sitting on earlier. Sho was still standing in the middle of the room, hesitant in the way Jun hadn’t ever seen before.  
  
“Or better yet, sit down first and make yourself comfortable, Sho-san. I swear I’m not going to jump your bones if you do. Calm down, for fuck’s sake. You’re seriously making me feel more like a jerk, watching you fidgeting there like that.” he said, irritated.  
  
He turned his attention into fixing himself a drink, vaguely aware of Sho moving quietly behind him. He’d already set two glasses down there before Sho arrived, grabbing the other one and filling it with whisky - Sho’s favorite - before drowning its contents in one go.  
  
He swear this wasn’t how he’d imagined this meeting would go, at least not in a way where it felt like the two of them were mere strangers. The awkward air between them was too thick Jun could barely breathe through it, and he hated the way Sho had looked at him as if he’d rather be anywhere than here, with Jun.  
  
And Jun hated feeling this way. He hated that he couldn’t help the anger from bubbling fiercely up his throat watching Sho, at the way Sho had seemed like he’d been trying to keep his distance, as if it wasn’t enough that he’d hurt Jun deliberately by walking away and treating Jun as if he was nothing.  
  
“I - I’m sorry for suddenly asking you to…to see me,” Sho said, just as Jun was filling his glass with alcohol again. He shrugged, opting on the gesture instead of answering. He honestly had no idea what to tell Sho.  
  
“I mean, I’m pretty sure you’d rather not, considering the fact that I -” Sho paused here, as if he was going through the words carefully in his head before he say them.  
  
Sho sighed, loud enough to make Jun pause from draining the contents of his second shot to listen.  
  
“Considering what I did to you.”  
  
A bitter laughter worked its way out of his mouth as he put his half-empty glass down.  
  
“Oh, really? And what could that be, Sho-san? I think my memory’s kind of rusty. Would you be kind enough to elaborate on that?” he said, using a tone that he usually only reserved to the likes of Ohno, and never towards the person Jun honestly liked from the beginning.  
  
“M-Matsumoto-san, I’m really sorry -”  
  
“Stop apologizing, god damn it!” Jun turned, knocking the glass over in his rage. He ignored it and found himself crossing the distance between him and Sho, his vision going in and out of focus as he was unable to keep his temper in check any longer.  
  
“I don’t need any of that, you hear me, Sho-san? I don’t need your apologies. What I want to hear from you, however, is an explanation. You owe me that much, at least, right?” he gritted, fingers gripping the front of Sho’s suit jacket, his eyes wide in what could be fear and maybe something else Jun couldn’t put his fingers on.  
  
There was a moment of quiet stillness where Jun found himself raking Sho’s face with hunger and Sho doing the same, albeit with obvious reservation. No one spoke for a while until Jun felt fingers wrapping around his wrist, light and tentative, watching Sho’s teeth biting into his own lower lip hard enough to make it bleed.  
  
Sho opened his mouth at the same time he lowered his gaze. “I d-don’t…really know where to begin,” Sho started, his voice shaking just the slightest bit. Jun felt oddly relieved at the sight, because he was certain Sho wasn’t faking this.  
  
He breathed through his nose and urged himself to loosen his hold, already missing the warmth coming from Sho’s fingers when he tugged his hands away only so he could drag Sho forward, calmer than he was moments ago.  
  
“Sit down, Sho-san,” he said, his voice trembling, too. “And have a drink. We’ll start from there.”  
  
++  
  
Sho preferred to do this sober, but a few drinks to help sooth his nerves couldn’t hurt.  
  
“I’m sorry about earlier,” Matsumoto-san muttered as he was sliding the glassful of whisky over, before grabbing his own. Sho honestly felt like laughing, because it sure seemed like they’re both apologizing to each other, but for completely different reasons.  
  
“I…didn’t mean to - yell at you like that.”  
  
Oh, but he did mean to yell at Sho like that, Sho wanted to tell him but opted on biting his tongue instead.  
  
“I understand,” Sho returned, unperturbed. He’d expected the worse, to be honest, so some yelling wasn’t enough to make Sho turn around and leave. “And it’s…it’s okay. I deserved that.” he added, grabbing his glass and taking a quick sip.  
  
He winced at the immediate burn on his tongue, but welcomed it nevertheless.  
  
Matsumoto-san chuckled, and turned to give him a look. “No, you don’t,” he said, like he meant it. “I swear I just - I lost myself there for a moment, I’m sorry.”  
  
“You’re angry,” Sho said, honestly not expecting this. Matsumoto-san’s calm demeanor after that initial outburst was one thing, but the ice on his tone afterwards was another. Somehow, Sho preferred the former better than the latter, preferred it better that Matsumoto-san punched him square in the face than the other man offering him a drink and sitting there next to Sho quietly.  
  
“I understand if you want to do more than yell, I swear.”  
  
Matsumoto-san shook his head and didn’t bother with verbal reply. Sho watched him fill his glass again, before Sho’s gaze darted on the bottle. It was almost half-empty now, and Sho was worried Matsumoto-san would end up drunk even before Sho managed to tell the other man what he came here for.  
  
“I’d rather kiss you than yell at you, Sho-san, if you know what I’m saying,” Matsumoto-san slurred, and Sho found himself shutting his eyes close for a moment, if only to calm his racing heartbeat down.  
  
“But of course you wouldn’t want that, so, this is me keeping my desires to myself. Don’t mind me.”  
  
God, what was that about? “Matsumoto-san, I -” he started, then cut himself halfway finding Matsumoto-san slumping on the countertop with an almost worrying thump. “Um, a-are you okay?”  
  
“I will be,” Matsumoto-san muttered, “maybe soon, but not now. I thought you’re here to talk to me? Why does it feel like I’m the only one talking?”  
  
“I think you’re drunk,” he said, “Maybe it’s better if we -”  
  
“Don’t you dare say you’re leaving, Sho-san,” Matsumoto-san lifted his head from the tabletop to glare at him, “because I’m not letting you do that to me again. You’re going to tell me what in hell happened that night, even if I have to choke it out of you.”  
  
He chuckled, that threat sounded hollow even in his own ears. Especially with how Matsumoto-san looked like he was seconds away from falling over. Sho honestly felt like reaching over and touching Matsumoto-san’s face, feel those ridiculously pretty eyelashes flutter against his fingertips.  
  
“We could do this later, once you’ve sobered up,” he found himself saying, as he kept his gaze on Matsumoto-san’s face. “I mean, you’re obviously seconds away from falling asleep and I don’t think you’ll be able to understand me anyway.”  
  
Matsumoto-san waved his hand carelessly that the action made him stumble onto Sho. Sho was thankfully there to catch Matsumoto-san’s fall, arms going around Matsumoto-san’s waist to steady him.  
  
“See,” he said, eyes closing in his attempt to keep himself from pulling Matsumoto-san closer. God, it felt too good to put his hands around Matsumoto-san like this, and he didn’t know how much he missed this proximity until he was here, his nose just a breath away from Matsumoto-san’s hair that he could actually breathe Matsumoto-san’s familiar scent in.  
  
“You’re so drunk, you can’t even keep -” he said, voice halting to a complete stop when Matsumoto-san surged to take Sho’s face in between Matsumoto-san’s hands and kissed him.


	5. Chapter 5

“Can’t you take the night off?” Ohno whined into his neck, and Nino smiled, couldn’t not, found it only appropriate to pause buttoning up his shirt in favor of tilting his head to allow Ohno further room to nuzzle his nape.

“Nope,” he said, biting the insides of his cheek to keep himself from grinning. Ohno’s arms came up from behind him, creeping towards Nino’s front and pulling Nino in, Nino’s back to Ohno’s chest. It’s warm in all the places they were touching, and the proximity was enough to make Nino feel loved, wanted.

It was a heady feeling and Nino simply wanted to bask in it.

“And even if I can, I’m not going to. Now, get off me. I have to get ready for work.” he said, not really meaning it. Ohno’s arms tightened marginally around him, and Nino found himself leaning into Ohno before he even realized he’s doing it.

“I’ll call Goldface for you,” Ohno said, pressing kisses after kisses against that spot on Nino’s neck that sent shivers down Nino’s spine. “tell him you’re not feeling well and that you’re -”

“I thought I already told you to stop making decisions for me?” he sighed; he’s not supposed to feel upset about this now, simply because this wasn’t the first time Ohno had asked this, since he’d made a nasty habit of asking the same question every night Nino was supposed to go to work, but after what happened earlier today, he couldn’t help it.

He turned around to face Ohno, putting his game face on. “Seriously, Oh-chan, this is so not cool.” he said, only half-regretting saying the things he did seeing Ohno’s expression fell.

“Are you still mad at me because of what happened earlier?” asked Ohno, looking and sounding apologetic, his fingers light and tentative against Nino’s hips.

“No,” Nino lied, opting on doing so instead of outright admitting that he was, actually, still mildly upset about the whole thing, despite knowing that he shouldn’t be anymore. Well, he no longer was earlier, of course, how could he when Ohno was being an absolute god in bed and was making it specifically hard for Nino to even remember his own damn name while he was writhing beneath Ohno in pleasure, but of course, that was a totally different matter now that he was once again thinking with his head and not with his dick.

“I just -” he said, or at least started to, only to stop himself mid-sentence. He shook his head and looked down to stare at his hands. “You know what, let’s just not talk about this. I’m going to be late for work if I don’t start moving now.” he said and backed back a step, but Ohno’s arms tightening around his waist prevented him from moving further.

“Oh-chan, seriously, I’ll be late -”

“It’s not your fault they’re unhappy, Nino,” Ohno said, pointing out what was still weighing in Nino’s mind as if it mattered, as if Nino still needed to hear any of it. “the same way that it wasn’t theirs when we were the ones suffering because you were stubborn and I was an idiot - still is, to be honest. So please, try not to worry about them so much. They’ll come around, if they love each other despite the way they keep on evading the matter that is, the same that way we did. In the end, they’ll be the ones to fix what is wrong, because no matter how hard we try to do it for them, if they don’t want it, then there’s nothing we could do about it.” Ohno finished with a soft smile and even softer kiss to the tips of Nino’s nose that had Nino sighing in answer, leaning further into Ohno without even meaning to.

“How many times do I have to tell you to stay out of my head?” Nino grunted, amused and equal-parts awed over the fact that Ohno always surprised him for pointing out what Nino would rather not say out loud himself, for saying the things that mattered. “It’s creepy, seriously.”

Ohno laughed, the same soft, husky and melodious sound that got Nino everytime. He huffed and jabbed a finger to Ohno’s chest in retaliation, if only to hide the way his cheeks were warm and he was having a hard time wiping the stupid grin off his face.

“Can’t help it, sorry,” Ohno said, sounding not even the slightest bit apologetic, as he pulled Nino in. “And I love knowing what’s going in on your head than when I couldn’t, because at least then I know what to do. Distraction goes a long way, and it always works in my favor so, that’s one thing. And then there’s the part where you let me get my way with you even when you’re being such a dick about it, because I know you like me enough to let me get away with it. But I also loves the fact that you let me do it because you know you’re safe with me, that I won’t ever let anything and anyone hurt you the way I stupidly did so, back then, because -”

“ - you’re an idiot,” Nino cut in, chuckling, shaking his head as he worked his hands along Ohno’s arms before settling them around Ohno’s neck. “Fine, I get it. You’re an idiot and you love me, and that if you could, you’ll give me the world - which I don’t need or want, just so we’re clear - I know that, okay, so please just shut up and let me go before I consider your offer and spend the rest of tonight either on the bed sleeping, or your lap riding you.” he said, pushing Ohno away, his fist against Ohno’s chest lightly.

Ohno chuckled. “I love you,” Ohno said, catching Nino off-guard yet again. “And can I just say that that’s not a bad idea at all? I mean, I’m all for spending the whole night getting ride at, if you know what I’m saying.”

Nino rolled his eyes, shook his head, grinning. “You’re hilarious, oh my god, stop talking. Why did I even marry you?”

Ohno threw him a wink. “Want me to remind you? We’d have to do it lying on the bed, though.”

“I have work!” he countered, fending off Ohno’s advances and backing away. He was laughing way too hard for Ohno to take him seriously, but it’s difficult not to when Ohno was being downright playful and amusing.

Nino loved him so much it hurt. “Stay away from me, oh my god -”

“Take the night off! Or call in sick, I don’t care! That darn hotel isn’t going to crumble to dust if you’re not there for one night!”

“I don’t want to!”

“I’ll double your pay for tonight, how’s that?” Ohno countered, obviously changing tactics. “Plus, we’re going to have so much sex that you’ll be sore come morning! There’s your chance for an emergency sick leave!”

“Don’t tell me what to do!” he countered, biting his lips, but he was already considering it, oh crap. “No, get away from me!” he said, but he was already fishing around his jeans’ pocket for his phone.

Damn it all to hell.

“Come on, Nino, you know you want to!”

“No!” he countered, fleeing. Ohno caught him easily, arms branding around Nino’s waist, Nino’s phone trapped in mid-air. Then he felt Ohno’s tongue, wet and warm and wicked, sliding across the sensitive spot under Nino’s left ear, at the same time Ohno pushed his hips forward, making his intention known against the back of Nino’s thighs.

Nino shivered on cue. “You won’t be able to work properly anyway,” Ohno mumbled, voice deep and husky. Nino knew it was being done on purpose. “You’re only going to keep thinking about how it’s even better if you’re in bed with me, and I’m licking you all the fuck over, spreading you open and making you scream while I finger you -”

“Fine, okay! Oh my god, you have the dirtiest mouth, I swear to god!” he half-screamed, but he was turning around to kiss the air out of Ohno’s mouth to shut him up.

Ohno was grinning when Nino pulled away, and Nino could only shake his head in fond exasperation.

“If Matsumoto-san fires me, I’m totally blaming you.” he said, mouth twisting in his attempt to keep himself from laughing. It’s hard, especially when Ohno looked uncharacteristically smug for some reason, winking at him and making lewd noises at him as he backed away to make a call.

“If he did, it’s his loss. Also, isn’t it obvious already? I’ve been trying to make him fire you, but that bastard wouldn’t let you go! Hey, Nino, are you even listening to me? Hey!” Nino grinned and shut the door to Ohno’s face, just as his call to the evening manager went through.

God, the things he did for his stupid husband, really.

“Ah, hello? Taichi-san, it’s Ninomiya. I’m really sorry but I can’t make it tonight, I’m really sorry -”

++

Jun honestly didn’t plan this.

Still, it didn’t stop him from wanting it all just the same. Jun knew, because the need had been gnawing at him ever since he opened the door and found Sho standing there, looking lost and uncertain. He’d wanted to put his hands around Sho right after he’d stepped aside to let Sho in, back the other man against the nearest wall and kiss him senseless, but he couldn’t.

He couldn’t. He wanted to, but he promised himself he wasn’t going to force Sho again, especially with how obviously careful around him Sho was tonight, how evident it was in the way Sho had kept his distance that Sho was doing it on purpose.

The alcohol was meant to make him brave, not dumber than he obviously already were, but he guessed it was to be expected. He wasn’t all that good at pretending he didn’t want Sho sober, and being half-drunk obviously didn’t help.

“Mmphhhf -” Sho whined against his lips - it sounded almost like a plea, but it could also mean something else - before Jun felt the tell-tale feel of Sho’s fingers around Jun’s wrist, pulling, tugging, Sho’s lips parting just the tiniest bit beneath his own, before the warmth disappeared.

“Matsumoto-san, wait -” Sho said, breathless, and Jun stared, had to fight back the urge to dive back in and tug Sho into him, groaning as he swayed and let his head drop onto the countertop table with a wince.

++

Sho had drawn scenarios in his head, but none of those included helping Matsumoto-san to the bathroom to throw up, or even help the other man clean himself up right after.

Somehow, it was an entirely surprising downgrade from how things were progressing earlier, when Matsumoto-san had simply tugged Sho in for a kiss. It was so different from all the kisses they’ve shared during the times they’ve been intimate, because that one felt somewhat - real, uncertain, heartbreaking.

He was watching Matsumoto-san wobble his way from the bathroom to the bed, almost tripping on his own feet and catching himself halfway, and knew they’d have to put this ‘talk’ on hold. Sure, he came here with all the intention to come clean, but with Matsumoto-san’s present condition, it was going to be difficult.

Matsumoto-san was struggling on undoing the buttons of his dress shirt when Sho remembered to look away.

“I…should go.” he said, clearing his throat noisily so as to grab Matsumoto-san’s attention. He had no plans on staying, not now when he could already feel his blood pumping hotly through his veins under his skin, could already feel his pulse racing at the sight of Matsumoto-san’s fingers working on each button unsteadily knowing his own fingers were itching to the deed himself.

“Why?” inquired Matsumoto-san from the bed, raising his head just in time to catch Sho looking. Sho noted the fact that Matsumoto-san looked far better than he was minutes ago, despite the fact that his cheeks were still tainted pink and his eyes seemed heavy and droopy.

“Are you worried I’m going to force you to have sex with me when it’s so obvious you’d rather screw a cow than allow me to touch you again?” Matsumoto-san followed, his tone cold it made the hairs at the back of Sho’s neck stand on end.

Sho breathed air back to his lungs, tasting bile in his tongue. This - This was exactly why he knew staying was a bad idea, knowing he was going to hear such harsh words and that he’d have no other choice but to accept them.

“That’s not -” he returned, or at least started to, then decided to bite his tongue instead, knowing that his voice sounded as shaky as he felt. He looked down and away, breathing air back into his lungs, hard, before continuing.

“I was hoping we could talk - it was long overdue, anyway - but you’re obviously not -” he paused and shifted his gaze elsewhere. “I mean, I think it’s better if we just…re-schedule.”

Matsumoto-san’s gaze zeroed in on him. “You’re making it sound like this is some kind of business meeting, Sho-san,” Matsumoto-san said. “Seriously, your words wound me.” Matsumoto-san added, clutching the front of his chest for effect.

Sho ignored the obvious jibe and took a step back. “I didn’t mean to offend, Matsumoto-san,” he said, bowing his head a little. “But I really don’t think you’re -”

“Sober enough to talk?” Matsumoto-san cut in. “Oh, but I am, Sho-san. Come on, I maybe tipsy but I’m not drunk, okay? It’s fine. I’m fine. You want to talk, right? Shoot, let’s talk.”

“M-Matsumoto-san, please - it’s…it’s not that important anyway,” he said, throat tight. “I mean…really, I think it’s better that we -”

“Not that important, huh?” Matsumoto-san muttered, sounding slightly offended. Sho heaved a sigh and found himself taking another step back before he even realized he was doing it. “Is that what you think this is? The thing we…w-we had…you and I…it’s just - nothing, huh?”

The thing they had? Sho wanted to laugh. What could it possibly be besides an illusion of something that wasn’t there? Sho obviously thought it was the opposite, that there was more to it, besides their almost devastating need to be in each other’s spaces, but he was obviously wrong.

“Why, did you think there was something else or you’re just saying that now because you think it’s convenient, our arrangement, me, and that it’s -” he said before he could even stop himself, then changed his mind halfway, cutting himself off.

God, why did he even think it would be easy to talk this out, when they have never really got talking right. The fact that they didn’t need to, not when they were actively screwing each other’s brains out, which was way easier than trying to converse using actual words.

He breathed hard through his nose and shook his head. “What do you even want me to say, Matsumoto-san?” he asked instead, balling his hands into fists, catching Matsumoto-san looking. He’d never imagined doing this while the other man was half-drunk - he was going to have to do this now, either way - but he guessed he was already running out of options.

“The truth, obviously.” Matsumoto-san said. A mirthless laughter found its way out of Sho’s mouth, shaking his head in disbelief.

“You found this funny, Sho-san?”

“Yeah, no, w-well. Can’t help it, sorry,” Sho countered, unperturbed. “I just - I honestly have no idea what that is, really.”

Matsumoto-san eyed him warily. He still looked halfway between drunk and sober, and Sho guessed that was better than being completely drunk, like he seemed to be earlier.

He opened his mouth to say something, but Matsumoto-san beat him to it.

“Why are you really here, Sho-san?”

 

++

 

Jun stood. He must be wobbling, but he ignored it in favor of keeping his gaze locked on Sho’s face. There was so much to see, if Jun was going to be completely honest about it, and he wondered if he’d ever get another opportunity like this one.

Jun raked his gaze over Sho, noting the fact that the other man didn’t change much during the past few months they didn’t see each other. Apart from the obvious bags under Sho’s eyes, he looked pretty much the same from the last time Jun saw him. Well, technically. Jun didn’t need to admit that he’d gone out of his way to see Sho several times during those months, not that he had any reason to.

Sho didn’t need to hear any of it, and Jun had no intention of telling him.

“It can’t be because you just wanted to apologize, is it?” Jun asked, knew he was tiptoeing into a dangerous territory here but he guessed there were things he’d already given up with ever since his heart decided it only wanted Sho.

His pride, obviously, was one of those.

Sho looked up and caught Jun staring. There was something behind those eyes that was making it difficult for Jun to look away, felt his chest ache in a completely different way as he held Sho’s gaze.

“Is that the only reason you’re here, Sho-san?” he asked.

Sho bit his lips, looked down and away, and for a moment there, Jun honestly wondered how it was possible for Sho to break his heart just by standing there, when it already felt like Jun was already broken beyond recognition.

Sho shook his head but he kept his gaze locked somewhere else. “No,” Sho muttered, his voice was so low that it forced Jun to step forward to hear.

“I’m here to tell you why I’ve decided I couldn’t see you anymore.”

 

++

 

Jun blinked. He’d expected this, didn’t he? Sho obviously wanted to settle the score, to let Jun know they were over before they even began, right? Of course, Jun had readied himself for this moment, had toughed it up for the worse, then why was his heart behaving like this right now he had no idea.

He stood there, knees shaking, honestly regretting even leaving the comforts of the bed, afraid his legs were about to give out on him as he surveyed Sho over.

“And you’ve decided to do it now?” he asked. “Why now? Why not a month ago? Three months ago? Or that night, after Ohno-san and Ninomiya-san’s wedding, when I asked if we could talk? Why do you think it should be now, Sho-san, when you could have done this then -”

“I didn’t know what to say to you then, Matsumoto-san!” Sho cut in, looking up to him, fucking finally. Jun spied the way Sho’s hands were shaking as he backed himself against the wall, far enough from Jun’s reach.

“And now you do?” he countered. “What could it be, huh? Oh, it couldn’t be this, is it? Were you supposed to tell me, Matsumoto-san, I don’t think we should still see each other, now that my boss and your employee are married. Since I’ve only ever let you into my pants for the sole reason that I’m doing it for my boss’ sake. Now that he’s happily married, it’s time for me to go back to being the loyal guard dog, wag my tail when he comes in for work and love him in silence while he’s off fucking someone else, instead of me.” Jun continued with a wickedly malicious grin.

Sho blinked rapidly, and stared at Jun, gaping.“What?”

“Please,” Jun said, huffing out a mirthless laughter. “We both know you heard me.”

“Wait, what are you -” Sho said, frowning, snapping his mouth close as if he was wondering what he was supposed to say. “Oh my god, did you think I’m in love with Ohno-san?”

Jun harrumphed. What could it be besides that? “I’ll shoot myself if you say you aren’t.” he said.

Sho was loyal to a fault; Jun was so stupid not to see it then.

“You’re crazy!” Sho countered, eyes wide in disbelief. “I - but Ohno-san is my boss! And my friend, I don’t understand why you think I’m -”

“So? That didn’t stop Ninomiya-san from falling in love with Ohno-san either, did he?”

“That’s different!” Sho countered, frowning hard. Jun took two steps forward without meaning to, watching as Sho did the same, albeit backwards.

“How so?”

Sho’s eyes were unfocused, and he was looking at Jun as if he’d gone crazy. Jun kept walking, watching Sho doing the same.

“Because… B-Because Ohno-san is -” Sho said, voice halting to a complete stop when he realized Jun was already standing close, too close for comfort, holding his arms out to keep Jun from advancing further.

“M-Matsumoto-san, please.”

It was probably meant stop, but Jun ignored it just the same.

“What?” he asked, pushing himself closer and effectively trapping Sho there, right against the wall. “You still haven’t answered my question, Sho-san,” he followed, feeling his whole body trembling with need he’d suppressed for so long. “How is your feelings for Ohno-san any different from Ninomiya-san’s? I mean, if you’re going to ask me, I’d say if there’s anyone who deserves Ohno-san’s love and affection, it’s you. You’ve been with him for so long, been working for him for god-knows-how-long, and yet you just allowed someone else to take him away -”

“And that should be reason enough for him to fall in love with me? Are you even serious right now?” Sho yelled, but Jun didn’t let it deter him. He kept his eyes on Sho, on Sho’s face, on the stubborn scowl marring Sho’s gorgeous mouth.

“And why the hell not?” he countered, chest heaving. The proximity was making his head spin, and the familiar warmth radiating from Sho’s skin was lethal enough to drive Jun insane. “Because I did, and you barely even smiled at me, goddamnit!” he confessed, half-hoping he could push himself away as he did, but he couldn’t even bring himself to do it.

“M-Matsumoto-san, please stop -” Sho gasped, his next words ended up trapped in his throat when Jun worked one of his hands to the hollow space between Sho’s neck and shoulder to steady him, shoving Sho’s restraining arms away so he could push forward to rest his forehead against Sho’s own.

“Is this what you want to hear, Sho-san?” he ground out, fuming. His lust and his anger mingling as he pinned Sho to the wall. “Did you want to see how pathetic I am without you, with your own two eyes? So you could walk out of that door, gloating, knowing I could only watch? Knowing I couldn’t stop you, is that it?”

“What are you even -”

“I’m in love with you, goddamnit!” he yelled, half-expecting Sho to push him away, so he’d stop talking. He wasn’t going to be able to stop now, was he? His traitorous mouth always did this to him and he probably should just get used to it, but damn.

“And it’s messing me up because I know it’s stupid! Because I can’t have you to myself! I want you for myself only, Sho-san, and it’s fucking me up knowing that I don’t have any right, that I have no claim on you no matter what my messed up brain tells me! But I want to! I want to claim you mine, I want keep you for myself even when I shouldn’t, because I love -”

“Holy shit, just shut up, shut up!” Sho grunted, surging up before Jun could even muster the courage to say more, to tell Sho he hated him as much as he wanted him, but couldn’t because somehow, Sho’s mouth was on him, stealing his breath and everything he was about to say next as Sho kissed him hard.

 

++

Sho had drawn scenarios in his head, but none of the things he ended up doing (and hearing) were included there. Somehow, it was easier to expect himself to be thrown out of that door two minutes after Matsumoto-san had let him in, instead of being told the things he’d held off saying himself because he was an absolute idiot.

Right now, though, he guessed it was just appropriate that he did. It’s difficult though, to pull away from Matsumoto-san’s lips, to not buck back into Matsumoto-san’s hips rolling forward into him. He could feel the answering hardness poking him back, and Sho knew if he didn’t pull away now to talk, he’d lose the nerve.

“W-Wai - mffff - wait! Wait a second, just mmfff -” he grunted, pushing Matsumoto-san away to talk, but the other man’s mouth follow. It got even harder to direct Matsumoto-san’s attention elsewhere, not when he was equally having a hard time tearing himself away from Matsumoto-san’s greedy mouth to talk.

He pushed Matsumoto-san off roughly, and it at least did the trick. They were both panting hard when they broke apart, and if the wild look on Matsumoto-san’s face wasn’t enough to make Sho forget what he wanted to say in the first place, Matsumoto-san licking his lips nearly did.

But Sho held himself. “Wait. Wait just a second, and hear me out. I have to tell you something.”

“Do I even want to hear it? I hope it’s not because you want to gloat now, because I honestly think you should do that later. I’d like what were doing earlier, to be honest, and if you’re planning on breaking my heart by leaving, please do that when I’m passed out, and preferably after one breakup sex, at least.”

Sho felt like rolling his eyes to the heaven, but held himself for Matsumoto-san’s sake. After all, Matsumoto-san had no idea what Sho felt, because if he did, he wouldn’t be saying the things he did, and therefore making Sho feel like an even bigger idiot than he already were prior to coming here.

“I’m not leaving,” he said, catching Matsumoto-san around the hips and feeling those fantastic hips flex under his hands. “And I love you, too.”

“Eh?”

Sho surged upwards and aimed a kiss to Matsumoto-san’s lips. “I love you, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before. I didn’t think you’re - I mean, I had no idea. I really thought this - you and I - meant nothing to you, and that you thought it was good while it last, because I’m convenient.” he added, eyeing the way Matsumoto-san opened his mouth to talk only to snap it shut again.

“I should have said something, I know, but I was - I was scared. I - we never talked about us when we’re together, and I guess it was my fault that you thought I was doing all of it for Ohno-san, which I may have, but not the sex part, I swear. I mean, I’d suspect the same if it was me, but because it wasn’t - I mean, yeah. I - I’m in love with you for so long, Matsumoto-san.”

“Fu - eh?”

Sho grinned, and straightened to frame Matsumoto-san’s face with both hands, thumbs swiping the underside of Matsumoto-san’s eyes softly. “And for the record, I’m not in love with my boss,” he said, surging up to kiss Matsumoto-san’s eyes, one after the other.

“He’s not my type,” he added, and with a gentle jab on Matsumoto-san’s chest, he followed. “You are.”

The smile that Matsumoto-san let out then was worth all the embarrassment Sho braved for confessing, as was the way Matsumoto-san pulled him in for an open-mouthed kiss that almost robbed Sho off the ability to breathe, much more think.


	6. Chapter 6

He supposed it should be anything but surprising, but the feel of Matsumoto-san’s lips moving against his own still bore the same effect.  
  
It was difficult to pull away, to make sense of the fact that this was happening, after months of missing this closeness he didn’t think he’d ever get to experience again, but here they are, mouths fused together, kissing each other hard as if they wouldn’t be able to again.  
  
When it slowed to a stop, he found himself panting into Matsumoto-san’s cheek, eyes closed.  _God, is this really happening?_  
  
“Hey, where are you?” Matsumoto-san whispered, apropos of nothing, lips skimming warmly across his equally-heated cheek. It took him a moment to get his bearings enough to focus on Matsumoto-san’s movements as he pulled away just the slightest bit to check on him, thumb stroking the underside of his eyes softly.  
  
“Sho-san?”  
  
He chuckled, because Matsumoto-san didn’t only sound hesitant, he looked like it too, and for the life of him, he couldn’t really help but wonder how easily they were able to patch things up just by talking when it honestly felt like nothing would ever work before. Not that he didn't consider a lot of things, just that his doubts and his ability to come up with every possible worst scenarios to any given situation made it especially hard for him to decide on anything.  
  
Well, after tonight, he guessed he could say that he was most definitely wrong for assuming the worst.  
  
“I’m here,” he whispered back, catching Matsumoto-san around the wrist and tugging on their joined hands to drop a soft kiss against the back of Matsumoto-san’s knuckles tenderly. “I’m not going anywhere, I promise.” He said, and felt more than heard Matsumoto-san’s shaky exhale of breath, followed by Matsumoto-san’s other arm working around his hips to pull him in.  
  
The feel of Matsumoto-san’s hardness against his thigh came as another surprise, groaning softly at the answering sensation spreading around his middle when Matsumoto-san shifted even closer to breathe him in.  
  
“Well, that's nice, and here is well and good, but, I’m not really fond with the idea of doing you here when there’s a perfectly comfortable bed right there, if you know what I’m saying.” Matsumoto-san teased. He chuckled, couldn’t not, and made to bury his face against the warm cradle of Matsumoto-san’s chest in answer.  
  
“So, I don't know, just say no if you think I’m being too presumptuous or something, because I really – I mean, it’s been months, right? I honestly want to do this right, I swear.” Matsumoto-san followed, sounding uncharacteristically sheepish despite it all.  
  
Sho loved him so much it hurt.  
  
He raised his head and aimed a kiss to the underside of Matsumoto-san’s chin, grinning.  
  
“Bed,” he whispered, pushing his hips into Matsumoto-san’s own. “And hurry, please.”  
  
Matsumoto-san’s almost childlike grin was an answer all on its own that he was grinning too before he even realized it. Then the feel of Matsumoto-san’s fingers closing around his wrist following, tugging him towards the direction of the bed with an arm branded around him from behind.  
  
  
+  
  
“We’re okay, right?” said Ohno on a downtake, when Nino mostly just wanted him to shut his mouth and continue what he was doing. He’s close – he could feel it slithering steadily under his skin, settling across the general vicinity of his thighs whenever Ohno would jerk his hips in a way that brought his dick deeper into Nino’s body.  
  
“Ah – Kazu,” Ohno groaned, stopping yet again only so he could dip his head low and distract Nino with another kiss. He groaned, kissing back on autopilot – how could he not? - tongue tangling against Ohno’s own as he stroked Ohno’s back, his skin damp beneath Nino’s hand. His legs curled around Ohno’s hips to pull him closer, moaned low and deep when Ohno’s dick throbbed inside him in answer.  
  
Ohno then pulled away, pressed an almost hurried kiss to the side of his lips, shifting just so he obviously wouldn’t be putting most of his weight on Nino though they were still pressed so close Nino could very well feel every breath leaving Ohno’s slightly parted mouth, the dampness of his skin. It was warm in all the places they were touching, and it was wonderful.  
  
He swallowed thickly and tilted his head just so, knowing Ohno’s eyes were going to follow the movement.  
  
“You really should stop doing that,” he complained, half-hearted at best as he reached up to brush Ohno’s bangs away from his eyes. Ohno’s face was damp with moisture – his own felt that way, too, just like always – but tried not to get distracted with how goddamn hot Ohno looked right now, suspended above him, with Ohno’s cock pulsing in time with each erratic beat of his heart inside him.  
  
“Do what?” Ohno said, licking his lower lip wet. The sight only made things in his belly constrict, his chest tight with want.  
  
“Talking in the most inappropriate moment,” he snorted, noting the fact that he sounded more like he was whining than anything. Damn it all. “Totally unbecoming. Ruins the mood, you know?” he said, squinting at Ohno grinning so goddamn smugly above him.  
  
Ohno chuckled in return, then somehow, he was moving so very carefully, pitching forward and raising his hips in the process that the action brought him just a tiny bit deeper into Nino, before there are fingers closing around Nino’s cock. Ohno squeezed and Nino was throwing his head back before he could stop himself, eyes lolling to the back of his head at the accompanying sensation of Ohno’s touch.  
  
“Oh, I’m so sorry about that,” Ohno countered, giggling like he couldn’t help it, the bastard. He would have batted Ohno’s hand away if not for the simple fact that he’s having a hard time keeping it together as it was, shaking at the way Ohno had kept up with his hand’s torture as he started pumping his hips along with it. “Do you want me to stop?”  
  
“Do that and I swear I’ll divorce you. Right this minute.” He choked out, fingers gripping Ohno’s hips for leverage as his own lifted from the bed to meet Ohno’s movements halfway. Damn, he was so close he could literally taste it, could feel the sweet burn flaring from deep within him every goddamn time Ohno’s cock would hit that spot inside him deliberately.  
  
“Ah, can’t have you doing that, of course,” Ohno mused, his tone was dark and unapologetic, even when he repositioned himself above Nino, one hand catching Nino’s calf and bringing it up his shoulder. Nino keened on cue, breathing harshly the second Ohno’s unoccupied hand moved to the small of his back to steady him.  
  
“Can’t. Not possible. Not allowed. Never.” Was the last thing he heard Ohno say before he was being fucked hard, his hands grabbing Ohno’s arms for support, eyes wide as he welcomed Ohno’s brutal thrusts one after another.  
  
  
+  
  
They took it slow.  
  
Somehow, the short journey from the opposite wall to the bed itself felt like it was the final hurdle they successfully overcame, everything slowing down considerably from then on. He wanted nothing more than to quickly relieve Sho off of his clothes, to be honest, take him hard and swift just to reassure himself that this was actually happening, but he held himself.  
  
Sho’s hands were tender on his face, eyes raking him all the fuck over as if Sho couldn’t believe this was happening either. He laughed, couldn’t not, and took it upon himself to continue where Sho had left off, tugging the hem of Sho’s dress shirt and shoving his hands under them to feel glorious skin, fucking finally.  
  
Sho gasped, but was quickly swallowing it down in favor of chuckling at him in return. Sho’s eyes seemed somewhat shy, maybe a little hesitant, and he had to kiss him again hoping it would be enough to erase Sho’s doubts as he pulled Sho closer by his beltloops.  
  
“Matsumoto-san –“ Sho murmured, as he took his attention away from Sho’s gorgeous lips to the underside of his jaw, his fingers busy with unbuttoning Sho’s dress shirt. He’d long discarded his own shirt and he could feel Sho’s hands on his back, drifting up to his shoulder blades as he nipped as Sho’s ear.  
  
“Don’t you think it’s high time you call me Jun?” he cut in, kissing Sho again because he couldn’t help it. Sho kissed back as if he couldn’t help it either, and he found himself entertained with the idea that this was his for the taking, from now and always, supposing he didn’t fuck up and end up driving Sho away for good.  
  
God forbid, but he’d been there and he knew how damn wrecked he was without Sho, so this was him making sure he wasn’t going there again.  
  
“Don’t you think it’s high time you get your hands off me so you could take care of your pants?” Sho countered, and this time he sounded confident, amused, that he couldn’t help but pull him closer again for another kiss. Sho growled into his mouth, the sound itself a command, and he felt himself harden at the thought of hearing the same over and over tonight, and everyday hereafter if he was lucky.  
  
“Good idea,” he countered, grinning at the way the statement made the corner of Sho’s mouth twitch. God, so sexy. “Though I was hoping you’d do the courtesy considering the fact that you’ re the one who broke my heart.” He said, stalling though he was already working on the few buttons of Sho’s shirt to hurry things along. Then he sat down on the edge of the bed when he was done shoving Sho’s dress shirt out of the way, watching Sho shedding it off himself and throwing it carelessly away.  
  
“Unintentionally, of course,” Sho pointed out, sporting a rather wicked grin as he sunk into the floor in front of him, in between his legs with Sho’s hands on his legs. “And just to be clear, you weren’t the only one, okay? Who knew you were stupidly thinking I have a thing for my boss? Not me, obviously.”  
  
“I’m sorry.” Was the only thing he could verbally come up with, because then Sho was swiftly unbuttoning his trousers and making a quick work on his zipper as he shifted closer. Then Sho was guiding him out of his pants, leaving his boxers on and his dick painfully hard and trapped inside its confinements.  
  
“You should be,” Sho said, thumb tracing the shape of him through the soft fabric, his fingers lingering on the damp spot there. His breath stuttered out of him in a rush the second Sho’s head dipped, mouthing him through the thin material separating his dick from Sho’s glorious mouth, his hands flying to Sho’s shoulders without him realizing it.  
  
“You don’t know how messed up I was without you, too, after all.”  
  
“Sho-san –“ he breathed, but everything he planned to say afterwards ended up trapped in his throat the second Sho’s fingers settled on the garters and pulled it down in the same hurried movement, his mouth catching the head of Jun’s dick in one go.  
  
  
+  
  
    
He took his time, drawing this one out if only to hear those sexy little moans Matsumoto-san was making. His mouth felt full, and coupled with Matsumoto-san’s fingers tangled through his hair to keep his head in place, he felt trapped, desired, wanted.  
  
It honestly felt different this time around, obviously because things were clearer, and they both knew where they stood in each other’s lives, what they actually felt for one another. It’s wonderful, to be honest, and the feeling was doubling all on its own the longer he stayed here, mouth too full to speak and his chest heaving in a completely different way.  
  
“S-Sho-san _, ahh_ , please –“ Matsumoto-san whimpered, fingers cupping his chin, firmly, to get him to stop. He did, but only after he’d slid his mouth over the head and gave it a quick, hard suck, before he was pulling away with a wet pop. Matsumoto-san’s eyes darkened marginally, teeth digging into his lower lip hard enough to draw blood, and the sight made the intense feeling inside him grow.  
  
“What? What is it?” he asked, licking around his lips and making a good show of letting Matsumoto-san see it. His hand on Matsumoto-san’s knees squeezed as the other one at the base of Matsumoto-san’s dick did too, grinned when Matsumoto-san swallowed noisily as he jerked roughly into his hand.  
  
“Quit the innocent act and come here,” Matsumoto-san demanded, his voice quivering as was his fingers tugging on Sho’s forearms. He went with it willingly, barely able to catch himself when Matsumoto-san flipped their positions over and he ended up on his back on the bed, Matsumoto-san sitting on him quite literally. Then there’s fingers on his lips, tracing and lingering, as his eyes locked on Matsumoto-san’s face.  
  
“You have the greediest mouth, do you know that?” Matsumoto-san said, awed and almost breathless, and he grinned smugly at Matsumoto-san in return.  
  
“You like it, don’t deny it now.”  
  
Matsumoto-san gave him a look, then made to sit up only so he could remove his boxers all the way off. He looked down, liking what he was seeing, his mouth watering at the sight of Matsumoto-san’s dick, hard and proudly standing in between his legs. He’d barely managed a second look when Matsumoto-san was moving again, this time with purpose, as he dove for his pants.  
  
“Off with it.”  
  
He laughed, but didn’t move and simply opted on watching Matsumoto-san do all the work. They’re both naked when Matsumoto-san dropped next to him, tugging him to lie on his side as Matsumoto-san’s fingers traced along his back.  
  
He gave no warning as he reached forward to close his fingers around Matsumoto-san’s dick, enjoying the expression on Matsumoto-san’s face. They’re both so hard, Matsumoto-san’s dick was still wet from being inside his mouth a little while ago, and it twitched in his grasp when he squeezed along the base.  
  
“How do you want me?” he whispered, licking his lips as he thumbed the slicked head of Matsumoto-san’s cock. It twitched in his grasp again, hard and pulsing, and at this point, he couldn’t exactly decide whether he wanted it inside his ass or back inside his mouth.  
  
“Above and inside me, in the next two minutes.” Matsumoto-san said, apropos of nothing, and he felt like his brain short-circuited for a moment there. “Supplies in the same place. Hurry up.”  
  
Holy shit.  
  
  
+  
  
Jun didn’t plan this – how could he? – but the spontaneity of his suggestion was worth the look on Sho’s face when he said it. They weren’t exactly foreign to switching things up a bit, especially when he was feeling a little generous, but he guessed this time was different.  
  
The confession, the sight of Sho on his knees worshipping his cock, the look Sho gave him when he tugged Sho up for a kiss – they all contributed to the want settling under his skin. He wanted to feel Sho inside him, feel Sho driving into him, above him and all over him, as he stayed there taking it all in.  
  
“Are you sure about this Matsu – ah, Jun-san?” Sho still found the nerve to ask, even when he already had two fingers moving inside him, cold with lube and slippery. He chuckled, and set about making himself comfortable on the bed by pushing two pillows underneath his hips as Sho took his fingers out to coat it with more lube.  
  
“I wouldn’t ask you if I wasn’t,” he chuckled, shifting a little before he was bending his knees and parting his legs further apart to give Sho enough room to settle himself in between. Sho’s fingers returned – three of them this time around – and he groaned at the expected burn, shutting his eyes close as Sho ducked to press soft kisses over his bare knees.  
  
“Ah, shit, that’s –“ he hissed, felt Sho’s fingers stilled inside him. “No, don’t stop.”  
  
“But –“  
  
“I’m okay,” he said, pulling Sho hard by his elbow, feeling Sho’s cock – hard and its head leaking wet – sliding across his abdomen. “Come on, Sho-san.” He prompted, arching back on the bed as Sho settled over him, mouth catching his for a quick kiss.  
  
When Sho pulled away, however, he just stopped and stared him down, poised warmly above him, fingers light on his cheek.  
  
“What?”  
  
“Jun-san, I –“ Sho said, then cut himself halfway as he laughed, soft and a little shaky. “I love you. I really, really love you.” Sho whispered, stroking his cheek in a way that left him breathless despite himself.  
  
“So cheesy,” he commented with a grin, shaking his head at the same time he was reaching down to curl his fingers around Sho’s cock, squeezing, breath hitching at the way the action made Sho’s eyes close involuntarily in answer. “Are you fucking me or not?”  
  
Sho gave out a chuckle, pinching him on the cheek as he sat back on his haunches, condom in hand. Jun watched him put the rubber on with shaking fingers, grinning when Sho all but moaned in response when he reached down and pinched the head.  
  
“Did anyone tell you you’re the most demanding bottom ever?” Sho grunted at him, settling back on his previous position above him, catching both his arms above his head with one hand while he used his other free hand to guide his cock against Jun’s twitching hole.  
  
“Well, no,” he returned with a moan, settling back on the bed and allowing Sho to line above him in counter. “because I never really allowed anyone to fuck me the way I am allowing you, so, get on with it before I -“ he answered, trailing because then Sho was kissing him and jerking his hips in one swift movement.  
  
  
+  
  
There was probably some kind of ground rules about ‘make up sex’, he was certain there should be, but he couldn’t be bothered to think about that now when he’d rather watch the way the muscles on Sho’s arms flex every time he would brace himself up on the bed as his hips thrust forward, his cock slipping in and out of Jun’s body. He couldn’t, even though he probably should be considering it, because shouldn’t this be at least a little, awkward or something?  
  
But then again, maybe that was for other people, not him and Sho who spent the entirety of those past months apart but loving each other in silence just the same, despite the fact that neither of them knew it.  
  
“Ah, shit, you feel so good,” Sho keened at the end of a hard thrust, rolling his hips afterwards as if to stamp the movement. He felt full, fuller every goddamn second Sho would pull his dick out only to slam it back in, and he could feel the gaping emptiness Sho’s cock left on its wake after he’d pulled away.      
  
The invasion wasn’t as comfortable as he would have expected it – his body obviously not used to being used this way – but the simple thought that it was Sho’s cock filling him to the hilt was enough to make the uncomfortable feeling go away. His hips arched from the bed as Sho thrust forward again, then pulled out again, growling fiercely under his breath as he moaned right back. He was panting hard, clutching at Sho’s biceps and catching Sho’s mouth into another kiss, surging up and moaning into the kiss as Sho’s thrusts turned faster, almost erratic.  
  
“Ah, Jesus Christ –“  
  
“Come on, come on, almost there!” he hissed, feeling the strain of Sho’s movements on his legs, along his arms, up his shoulders and neck. Sho fucked into him hard, harder, dropping his head onto his shoulder and tilting his face to bite onto the juncture there. Sho keened, his movements turning sharper, not breaking its rhythm as he wormed his hands behind Sho to grab onto his butt, pulling him deeper.  
  
“Fuck, ah fuck, Jun –“ Sho yelled, then he was shifting into a kneeling position and thrusting into a completely different angle, hitting that sensitive spot inside him that he didn’t even know existed. He was keening in return, holding on to Sho for dear life, feeling his orgasm tearing right into the surface before he even realized what was happening. Sho kept fucking him, mouth alternating between biting his neck and kissing him, and after the third hard thrust he was gone, coming at the end of it with a grunt and a full body shudder, barely realizing Sho had followed to the edge until Sho did with a shout against the curve of his neck, trembling as he held Sho through it.  
  
  
+  
  
  
“There’s something I need to tell you.” he mumbled into the hollow space between Matsumoto-san’s neck and shoulder, kissing that spot before he was moving out of the way. They both groaned when he pulled himself out, pressing two soft kisses to Matsumoto-san’s collarbone in apology, before helping Matsumoto-san put his legs down on the bed, his eyes raking the mess Matsumoto-san left on his chest and abdomen as well as the red marring Matsumoto-san’s skin.  
  
“If it’s going to ruin the mood, forget about it, Sho-san.” Matsumoto-san said, waving his hand and gesturing towards the tissue box sitting on the nightstand. He chuckled and took care of his condom first, twisting it and shooting it in the trash.  
  
“We’ve just confessed our undying love for each other and I just had one of the best orgasms of my life that I might end up falling asleep in a minute, please don’t ruin it.”  
  
He shook his head and quickly snatched the tissue box from the night stand and, after cleaning himself, took care of the mess on Matsumoto-san’s skin as well. Matsumoto-san remained uncharacteristically quiet throughout the whole affair, barely touching the back of his hand when he was done.  
  
“Fine,” Matsumoto-san said, tugging him down. “Fine, Sho-san, let’s hear it.”  
  
He tilted his head and considered putting on his underwear, but thought better of it in fear of offending Matsumoto-san in the process. Instead, he reached out to grab one of the pillows there and placed it over his lap, ignoring Matsumoto-san chuckling in answer at the action.  
  
“The night of the wedding,” he started, darting his gaze elsewhere even though he’d rather keep staring into Matsumoto-san’s face. “You – wanted us to talk, right?”  
  
Matsumoto-san shrugged, like it didn’t matter anymore, but he saw right through the other man just the same. It’s probably not a good idea, tackling this now, at this moment even, but after everything they went through, he didn’t want anything standing in between them anymore.  
  
“Yes,” Matsumoto-san said, and somehow, between the two of them, it was still the other man who was brave enough to reach out when Sho couldn’t. He watched Matsumoto-san’s hand grabbing his, pulling his hand into Matsumoto-san’s own to thread their fingers together.  
  
“But it doesn’t matter now, okay? We’re fine now, right? Right, Sho-san?”  
  
He nodded, lifting their joined hands together and kissing Matsumoto-san’s fingertips softly.  
  
“We are,” he said, “I just want you to know that I wanted to talk to you that night, too. But that I was afraid you’d –“  
  
“You walked away,” Matsumoto-san whispered, suddenly unsure, looking down at their joined hands as he spoke. “I didn’t know what else to do then. I thought you didn’t want anything to do with me, that even after Samii-kun told me to come after you, you wouldn’t want me to.”  
  
He tugged at their joined hands and pulled Matsumoto-san to him, feeling that phantom pain from resurfacing. It was his fault, all of it, that they were miserable. Folding his arms around Matsumoto-san’s shoulders, he pressed his face against the side of Matsumoto-san’s neck, feeling himself tremble with uncertainty and combined heartfelt relief knowing that those miserable days are over.  
  
“Will you forgive me, Jun-san, for breaking your heart then?” he whispered, worming his hand around the back of Matsumoto-san’s head to keep him in place. It’s probably too late for that, after all, but still, he wanted to. He wanted to let Matsumoto-san he never meant to hurt them both, that if he could turn the hands of time, he’d be the one to follow Matsumoto-san then to beg him for his forgiveness.  
  
Matsumoto-san pulled away just the slightest bit, but only so he could bump their foreheads together softly, his fingers light on Sho’s cheek.  
  
“I already did, Sho-san,” Matsumoto-san whispered around an equally soft smile, touching the side of his lips that the action made his heart jump in his chest. “The moment you walked into that door earlier, I already did.”  
  
He said nothing in return and just tilted his head so he could kiss Matsumoto-san, warmth gathering at the corners of his eyes when Matsumoto-san simply held on to him and kissed him back.  
  
There was nothing more to say, not now, at least. They’re going to be fine, like this.  
  
He was certain of it.  
  
  
-End-


End file.
